The Cambridgeshire Mum

Twenty-something first time mum and wife, blagging and blogging her way through life!

Our Story - An Update

Trigger Warning - Baby Loss / TFMR

Before my TFMR, I was informed by our local hospital their policy was to hold a joint cremation and service for parents and families.

We decided these weren't out wishes and asked for alternative options.

We were told this was an unusual request and we're signposted to a local funeral care company (who were an incredible support) to organise the arrangements.


I was 10 weeks post-TFMR when we finally received the genetic testing results, which apart from the initial diagnosis of anencephaly, were normal.

Around 10 days later I contacted our local PALS branch, as I'd had no contact about Teddy or collecting him.

I was soon put in touch with the Lead Gynae Nurse, who was extremely helpful and sensitive to our situation.

Soon enough, we were able to pick up Teddy and arrange our final goodbye.

Almost 4 months after the initial diagnosis, it was finally time to say goodbye to Teddy.

We didn't have any words or a service. No family or friends.

Just some music.

It was simple, but just what we needed.


Saying goodbye to your much loved and wanted baby, no matter what age or gestation, is the most painful thing you'll ever have to do.

Unless you've experienced it, you simply cannot understand it.

However, you can support and provide a listening ear.

If you're here because a friendly or family member has experience TFMR, be kind to them.

If you're here because you've experienced TFMR yourself, be kind to yourself.

May 2021

For more info and support...

Tommy's - What is TFMR?


ARC - Antenatal Results and Choices